185 Best Dad Jokes Ever That’ll Make You Groan & Laugh

Let’s face it—nothing brings people together like a perfectly timed, wildly groan-worthy dad joke. Whether you’re trying to get a giggle from your kids, make your friends roll their eyes, or just need a quick pick-me-up, this ultimate collection of the best dad jokes ever has you covered.

In 2025, dad jokes aren’t just surviving—they’re thriving. With social media buzzing with punny one-liners and corny zingers, these “bad” jokes are actually the best kind of humor out there. This blog post rounds up the funniest dad jokes, the best stupid dad jokes, and even a few best dirty dad jokes (don’t worry—they’re playfully PG-13).

Whether you’re looking for the best dad jokes for kids, want to impress your friends with the best dad jokes for adults, or just need some solid good dad jokes to get through your workday, this is your one-stop laugh shop. We’ve included best corny dad jokes, best bad dad jokes, and the latest hits from the dad jokes 2025 trend.

Looking to make Father’s Day even more memorable? Don’t miss our suggestions for related fun like Fun Father’s Day Games, thoughtful Happy Fathers Day Quotes , and engaging Fun Father’s Day Activities.

So buckle up, pun-lovers. This isn’t just a list—it’s a comedic adventure packed with chuckles, eye-rolls, and wholesome (sometimes borderline ridiculous) dad humor. Ready to laugh? Let’s dive into the best dad jokes ever—funny, cringe-worthy, and absolutely unforgettable.

Best Dad Jokes Ever

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
  
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  
• Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  
• I used to hate facial hair—but then it grew on me.
  
• What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
  
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
  
• Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
  
• I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
  
• Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  
• I told a joke about a roof… it went over their heads.
  
• Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
  
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

Best Dad Jokes for Kids

• Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  
• What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
  
• What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore.
  
• What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear!
  
• How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
  
• How does the ocean say hi? It waves.
  
• What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
  
• Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  
• What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
  
• Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was stuffed.

Funny Dad Jokes

• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
  
• How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper.
  
• I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  
• I would tell you a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
  
• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
  
• I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
  
• I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
  
• I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
  
• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  
• Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  
• Why do mushrooms get invited to parties? Because they’re fungi.
  
• I once had a joke about amnesia… but I forgot how it goes.

Related Article: Funny Fathers day card messages

Best “To The Person Who Stole My…” Dad Jokes

(Classic setups with groan-worthy punchlines)

• To the person who stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
  
• To the person who stole my mood ring… I don’t know how I feel about that.
  
• To the person who stole my calendar… your days are numbered.
  
• To the person who stole my thesaurus… I am lost for words.
  
• To the person who stole my copy of Gone with the Wind… frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
  
• To the person who stole my glasses… I’ll be seeing you.
  
• To the person who stole my pen… you have a lot to write about.
  
• To the person who stole my socks… I hope you get cold feet.
  
• To the person who stole my cheese grater… you’re the worst.
  
• To the person who stole my face moisturizer… you make me feel dry and disappointed.
  
• To the person who stole my ice cream… you’re not cool.
  
• To the person who stole my energy drink… not very uplifting of you.
  
• To the person who stole my ladder… you’ve taken things to a new level.
  
• To the person who stole my coffee… you’ve bean warned.
  
• To the person who stole my camouflage shirt… I can’t see you, but I will find you.

Best “I Have a Joke About…” Dad Jokes

(Setup and self-roast in one—classic dad humor format)

• I have a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.
  
• I have a joke about time travel… but you didn’t like it.
  
• I have a joke about pizza… but it’s a little cheesy.
  
• I have a joke about paper… but it’s tearable.
  
• I have a joke about a pencil… but there’s no point.
  
• I have a joke about elevators… it’s uplifting.
  
• I have a joke about cows… but it’s udder nonsense.
  
• I have a joke about beavers… but it’s the dam best.
  
• I have a joke about butter… but I better not spread it.
  
• I have a joke about retirement… but it doesn’t work anymore.
  
• I have a joke about ghosts… but you won’t get it—it’s transparent.
  
• I have a joke about insomnia… but I’m still working on it at 3am.
  
• I have a joke about socks… but it’ll knock yours off.
  
• I have a joke about gardening… but it needs time to grow on you.
  
• I have a joke about bananas… but it might make you slip.

Best Dad Jokes That Are Responses to Kid Questions

(Perfect one-liners when your kids ask the real questions)

• Kid: “Dad, are you OK?”
  Dad: “No, I’m half-K.”
  
• Kid: “Why is the sky blue?”
  Dad: “Because if it was green, we’d have to mow it.”
  
• Kid: “Can I go to the bathroom?”
  Dad: “I don’t know—can you?”
  
• Kid: “Where are we going?”
  Dad: “Crazy. Want to come?”
  
• Kid: “Why do I have to go to school?”
  Dad: “Because the Wi-Fi there is better.”
  
• Kid: “I’m hungry.”
  Dad: “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.”
  
• Kid: “Can we get a cat?”
  Dad: “Only if it speaks paw-sitive English.”
  
• Kid: “Is it going to rain today?”
  Dad: “I don’t know. Ask the clouds—they’re always hanging around.”
  
• Kid: “What’s for dinner?”
  Dad: “Food. Probably.”
  
• Kid: “Why are you like this?”
  Dad: “Because someone has to keep things pun-derful around here.”

Best Dad Jokes

• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  
• Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
  
• I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
  
• How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  
• I once heard a joke about a pencil… but there was no point.
  
• Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  
• I’m afraid for the calendar—its days are numbered.

Best Corny Dad Jokes

• I don’t trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
  
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  
• I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but it came back to me.
  
• Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
  
• Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
  
• I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.
  
• What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
  
• How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
  
• I once had a dream I was a muffler—I woke up exhausted.
  
• Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

Best Bad Dad Jokes

(So bad… they’re awesome)

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  
• What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
  
• Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
  
• I once got fired from a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  
• What do you call a man with no nose and no body? Nobody nose.
  
• I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
  
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  
• Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep.
  
• I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  
• My dog used to chase people on a bike… until I took his bike away.

Best Dad Jokes for Adults

(A little more clever, but still classic dad)

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  
• My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
  
• I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?” He said, “No, it’ll be round.”
  
• The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
  
• I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.
  
• I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She didn’t believe me… until I rode pasta.
  
• I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed. Guess the two of us weren’t going to work out.
  
• My friend wants to become an archaeologist, but I’m convinced his life is in ruins.
  
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  
• My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.

Good Dad Jokes

(Wholesome, clean, and crowd-approved)

• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  
• Why did the math book look sad? Too many problems.
  
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  
• Why was the broom late? It swept in.
  
• What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
  
• I don’t trust those trees—they seem shady.
  
• Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
  
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
  
• What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
  
• Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many tabs open.

Best Dirty Dad Jokes

(Mildly naughty, mostly cheeky — PG-13 at worst)

• I told my wife her underwear was too tight, and she snapped.
  
• I bought a thesaurus and when I got home, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  
• I used to date a girl who was cross-eyed… we broke up because we couldn’t see eye to eye.
  
• I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with—she said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
  
• My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
  
• I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.
  
• Why don’t men need more than one bookmark? Because the sports section is in the middle.
  
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down.
  
• My wife said, “You never listen to me!” Which I thought was a weird way to start a conversation.
  
• I wanted to marry my English teacher when I was younger, but she said there was too much “past tense” between us.

20 Best Dad Jokes Funny

(All-time favorites that guarantee laughs)

• Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.
  
• Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
  
• Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
  
• I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
  
• Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy.
  
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
  
• I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But Dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named after him.”
  
• Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  
• I ate a clock yesterday—it was very time-consuming.
  
• I don’t trust people who do acupuncture—they’re back stabbers.
  
• I told my wife she should do yoga to relieve stress. She told me to bend over backward.
  
• Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
  
• Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  
• I’ve got a joke about unemployment—but it needs some work.
  
• Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  
• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
  
• I asked my dog, “What’s two minus two?” He said nothing.
  
• I know a lot of jokes about retired people… but none of them work.
  
• I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon… I’ll let you know.

Best Stupid Dad Jokes

(So dumb they’re genius)

• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  
• I bought shoes from a drug dealer… I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  
• What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  
• Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill? It ran out of juice.
  
• I told a joke about pizza once. It was a little cheesy.
  
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  
• I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
  
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
  
• What happens if you eat aluminum foil? You sheet metal.
  
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
  
• I have a joke about farming, but it’s too corny.
  
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  
• Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  
• Why did the melon get married? Because it cantaloupe.
  
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

Final Thoughts,

So there you have it—your ultimate list of the best dad jokes ever to brighten up any moment. Whether you’re cracking up over the best stupid dad jokes, giggling at the best corny dad jokes, or secretly loving the funny dad jokes you swore you’d never laugh at, dad humor has a special place in all our hearts.

From family-friendly laughs with the best dad jokes for kids, to office banter with the best dad jokes for adults, these timeless one-liners keep the mood light and the smiles wide.

Even the best bad dad jokes (you know, the ones that make you laugh and groan at the same time) deserve a moment in the spotlight. And let’s not forget—dad jokes 2025 are sharper, funnier, and more viral than ever before.

We hope this collection brought a smile to your face, and maybe even gave you a few go-to zingers for your next conversation. Got a favorite from the list?

Share it with a friend or post it on social media. Let’s spread the laughter—because the world could always use a little more good dad jokes energy.

Feel free to bookmark this post, share it with your favorite jokester, and come back anytime you need a good laugh!